“Body checking”
Always checking if the body is too much,
too much.
Never too little.
Except perhaps in trust, confidence and acceptance.
I’m tired of hearing
“She’s a bigger girl.”
Bigger than what?
Bigger than a mouse.
Bigger than a lightbulb.
Bigger than a cracker.
Always checking
calories, fat, portion…
Always looking,
always on guard for when
belly sticks out
rolls appear as if it is too much
to be the woman I am
as if it is too much for me
to be.
What about checking in?
Checking in with my fingers and toes.
Checking in with my feet and my thighs.
Checking in and asking:
“What is it do you need?
Where can I feel life pulsing in this moment?
What have I denied you?”
Always love.
From now on, I am not defined by
the shape that my skin wraps around
the miracle of organs, bones, tissue, energy
that is my spirit’s vessel
in this lifetime.
Bigger than life,
bigger than light.
I’ll take it.