Eulogy delivered for my grandfather
I wanted to share some stories about what a special person Grampa was and still is to me.
The first story is the one I think back on most with marvel and awe. It didn’t happen that long ago either. It was June 2012. I went to visit Grampa at Emeritus, and I had lunch with him. I had just gone to Reiki training the day before and, a month before that, I had a transformational experience at a spiritual retreat. At lunch that day, I was eager to share the Love that I was feeling inside.
Grampa was the kind of person that I could tell anything to and know that I’d be not only be listened to, but fully received. We talked about the energy healing practice of Reiki, the interconnection of all things, the new movement of Human Evolution, and Oneness of a spiritual nature – certainly deeper than most conversations had over ravioli and green beans at Emeritus. And it wasn’t just me talking to him about these esoteric topics – he had so much to contribute too.
He too felt a connection to all living things – he said he’d been feeling strongly this for some time, but never knew that others felt this way too. He said “Ours is not to reason why; just be.” We held each others hands and cried a little bit.
Looking into his eyes, I felt I received a piece of heaven – and I sense he felt the same. He was so relieved to hear that there are others that can sense the Oneness and have a deep connection to God – and that there was this resonance within our family. He said “I look in your eyes, and I know it’s true,” and then he said he felt such ease, such forgiveness and that he was OK to just BE.
Grampa had the gift of being an open, receptive, aware and spiritual person, as well as having a keenly analytical, intellectual mind that was always “on.” He was the first person I knew who wrote computer programs – let alone being the first person I knew who owned a computer. He spoke to groups about financial planning for retirement and he assisted seniors with health insurance questions. He strongly believed in equality and human rights. As a fantastic writer, he wrote opinion pieces for the Worcester Telegram on the right for all to marry and the right to death with dignity. He also took me to my first yoga class.
Grampa was already one of my heroes with his forward-thinking and heart-centered passion for humanity. To experience a spiritual connection with him was an added bonus to our relationship of granddaughter and grandfather.
When I visited Grampa in the nursing home a few times during the week before he died, I gravitated to his bedside. He wanted to hold my hand. And in came the memories of Grampa and Gramma caring for me and my brother so many times when we were little kids. It was my turn to care for him then, in even just a small way.
Another story — I had a cassette tape once that had our voices on it — Grampa, Gramma, 4-year-old me, and 2-year-old Dennis. Gramma and Grampa were babysitting us, and Grampa was amusing us with the wonders of the tape recorder. He recited the nursery rhyme “Sing a Song of Sixpence,” and Gramma sang Christmas carols. I thought of that recording – hearing it in my head – as I sat beside Grampa in his nursing home bed, and quietly sang Christmas carols to him. Even when he wasn’t making much sense in that week, he could still hum Silent Night with me and my husband.
Sometimes, when we’d stop singing, he’d open his eyes. Once or twice, I got a nod and a small, closed-mouth smile. It’s a familiar gesture in the Crommett family. In his eyes, I saw that same person who talked about oneness and universal energy –smiling back at me. Even though he didn’t say much in those visits, he freely and easily said “thank you” and “I love you.”
Grampa’s great capacity to love and his gentleness toward all people is his legacy. We don’t have to look far to see these qualities living out. My dad, for one, embodies them all. My dad too has a depth of love, kindness, gentleness and passion for humanity that is easy for anyone who meets him to feel.
I could probably go on and on talking about Grampa. But for now, I leave you with this blessing for peace – which I wish for all of us who grieve and for the soul of my Grampa, Alfred Crommett.
Live in peace by Ralph Marston
Peace is not something that happens to you. Peace is a part of who you are. Peace is not something that can be taken away from you. Peace comes from the way you choose to be. Though the world around you may be filled with confusion, noise and turmoil, you can choose to be peaceful in your own heart. Though life is filled with difficult challenges and setbacks that pop up out of nowhere, you can choose to move through each moment with a peaceful heart. When you live only for the shallow, fleeting, frivolous things, then true peace will most certainly elude you. The way to choose peace is by investing yourself in real and lasting values. No one can force your heart to be at peace. And no one can chase true peace away from you when it is there. Imagine how powerful it would be to live each day with peace in your heart. And know that it is always there for you to choose.