This article originally appeared in Healthy Communities, a member magazine from Fallon Health.
Here’s the scenario: It’s Monday morning. Your alarm clock never went off, you stubbed your toe on your nightstand as you leapt out of bed to get the children off to school on time, and your car has a flat tire (though it was fine last night when your eldest son took it out for a spin).
If you’re a unique person who deals well with the ups and downs of daily life, this type of start to the day might have little effect on you. But for most of us, we’d prefer to crawl back into bed and start the day over—free of stress and irritations.
Stress continues to be a hot topic. Everyone’s feeling it in some way or another. So much in life can be stressful—whether it’s looming debt, office politics, the extra pounds clinging to your thighs or the challenge and blessing of aging parents. Stress comes in many forms, but it doesn’t have to be defeating.
Good? Bad? Both?
Stress itself is not necessarily good nor bad. Stressful events can sometimes be happy events, like getting married or having a baby. It is looked at as a negative emotion when we don’t feel that we have the time, the experience or resources to handle the situation.
Feeling stressed is the body’s natural way of protecting and preparing itself. In earlier times, the fight-or-flight reaction—increased heart rate, faster breathing, more alertness and faster muscular response—was essential to physical survival. Our bodies are still wired to react this way, but most of us internalize it. So after repeated exposure to stressful situations, we become exhausted, burnt out and physically ill. For our own health, it’s essential that we learn ways to deal with stress.
Being in the driver’s seat
When we don’t feel like we have what we need to handle a situation—be it time, money or support—we start to feel out of control. And at that point, it’s easy to let everyday situations peck away at your mental stability.
The fact is that there are some things in life that you do have control over. And then there’s everything else. If you want to begin to reduce some of your stress, start with the things that you can control. Then, look at the things you can’t control and figure out how to take charge of them. Also, look to Fallon Community Health Plan for ways we can help.
You have control over what you eat. If your eating habits are stressing you out—or if you’re eating as a reaction to stress—take a moment to ask yourself some questions. Are you really hungry when you’re eating? Are you eating healthy foods? Does the food you eat make you feel nourished and energized? Though a pint of chocolate-chocolate chip ice cream and some French fries might be exactly what you’re craving, the high sugar in the ice cream will leave you dragging when the sugar and caffeine high wears off, and the fat in the fries actually increases your stress hormones.
Instead, have a baked apple to satisfy the sweet-and-creamy cravings or some low-fat microwave popcorn to satisfy the salty craving. You could also consider joining Weight Watchers®, which has been able to help many people learn about healthy eating—and lose weight doing so. What’s even better is that you can get a free 12-consecutive-week membership annually from Fallon Community Health Plan through our It Fits! program.
You have control over whether or not you exercise. If you’re going to go for the healthy eating, you may as well combine it with exercise. And, exercise is a proven way to help de-stress. Exercising can be as simple as taking a gentle walk around your neighborhood or as exciting as joining a gym to get a full-body workout. (FCHP offers discounts to certain fitness centers, too!) Combine exercise with relaxation by taking a yoga or Pilates class, or doing a few laps in a pool at the Y. All of these activities (and more!) are reimbursable up to $300 for families for most plans through FCHP’s It Fits! program as well. For our senior members, take advantage of the SilverSneakers® Fitness Program instead.
You have control over whether or not you smoke. An addiction like tobacco makes it seem like you have no control over whether or not you take another puff on that butt. But, you do have a choice. You can choose to stop smoking or using tobacco. Studies have shown that stress levels decrease in people who have quit smoking. And FCHP can help you out. Our Quit to Win program is free for members and offers support through group work and nicotine patches as you break the habit and get on your way to a healthy—and less-stress—lifestyle.
You have control over your baby’s care. The joy of pregnancy is easily matched by the stress of the unknowns of parenthood. It’s equally the most exciting and most apprehensive time for any new—or experienced—parent. But you don’t have to be alone through this time.
FCHP’s Oh Baby! program that provides new and expectant parents with lots of helpful resources. With the free car seat and free prenatal vitamins that you get through the program, you can save money and keep you—and your baby—healthy. After your baby arrives, FCHP’s Nurse Connect gives you access to registered nurses and other health care professionals who serve as health coaches 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
You have control over the care of an aging parent or spouse. Being a caregiver is a rewarding and challenging task. It’s not easy to balance your daily activities with the daily needs of your loved one. FCHP can help. We offer support through a variety of services and programs, including specialized care for certain chronic conditions, an online drug interaction checker, follow-up after hospitalizations, senior wellness seminars, our Summit ElderCareSM program for frail elders, and much more.
Dealing with the rest
A 5-mile backup on your route to work. A man with 20 items in the “10 items or less” line at the grocery store. A seemingly endless wait time to talk to a human being on your credit card’s customer service line. A relentlessly critical mother-in-law. So much to do and so little time.
All of these things can be categorized as “annoying but completely out of my control.” Sure, you could blow your car horn or scream at the man with the extra groceries in line, but would this really change anything? The only effect it would have would be to increase your tension level. When you’re feeling over-the-top with stress, there are better ways to not let the small stuff eat away at you.
Take charge by …
Doing your homework. Before leaving the house in the morning, check the local news stations on television or on the Internet to see if there are certain roads you should avoid or if there are rain clouds rolling in. Instead of flipping out, take several deep breaths and carry an umbrella with you in the trunk of your car. Turn on some music for a mood lift. Studies have shown that music does wonders for people’s emotions.
Avoiding the stressful situation. If it’s really bothering you that the guy in front of you has 20 items in the “10 items or less” line, change lines. This works for any situation that bugs you, though it may take some practice to feel good doing it. FCHP has other ways that you can save time—and your sanity—like getting your prescription through the mail or changing your primary care provider online (www.fchp.org).
Committing 15 minutes a day to one task. It might not seem like a lot of time—but in 15 minutes, you can do a sink full of dishes, fix a squeaky door, call a friend or start a project that’s been on your desk for weeks. If you have a large project or goal ahead of you, completing it can seem daunting. And feelings of being overwhelmed often lead to procrastination, which then adds to the stress. Instead of trying to accomplish your goal in one sitting, start small. Break it into more manageable tasks that may only take 15 minutes to do. The satisfaction you’ll feel by completing those small, 15-minute tasks will reduce your stress—and bring you closer to finishing that project!
Relaxing. Do some deep breathing exercises, meditate, do yoga or another type of relaxation technique—even if only for five minutes. Through FCHP’s affiliation with Healthyroads.com, you can get discounts on yoga videos and equipment, music for relaxation, and CDs with guided imagery to help you find some peace. Or, get reimbursed for yoga classes through It Fits!
Asking for help. Whether you’re a fiercely independent person or just someone that’s uncomfortable asking for help, trying to do everything yourself leads to exhaustion. Call a friend and ask her to take your children for the day while you catch up on housework. Or, call Beacon Health Strategies, FCHP’s partner in behavioral health, to find a therapist in your area and then schedule an appointment for help in understanding your stress triggers.
As appealing as the idea is, stress will never go away completely. There will still be days where your alarm doesn’t go off, where you’ll stub your toe on the edge of the nightstand and your children will miss the school bus. But you have the power to adjust your perception of what’s stressful and to find new ways to cope with the situations in your life that make your hair stand on end. And—as we have been for 30 years—FCHP is here for you along the way!